Things I am Afraid to Tell You
Yesterday I ran across a tweet by Mayi of Heartmade thanking another for her honest blog post Things I’m Afraid to Tell You. I was intrigued and started digging. What I found is divine and speaks to a real tender spot for me – outing the fantasy perfectionist version of reality from blogs. Bring back the real. Slow the race to keep up with the Joneses and shine as the true, flawed, luscious creatures we are.
Things I’m afraid to tell you.
+I suffer from chronic depression. It runs in the family. I just started taking happy pills to help.
It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made.
(I haven’t even told my Mom.)
+I find it difficult to walk away from a ‘gossipy’ conversations.
+I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up and have no real plan.
And I worry about money too much.
+I am afraid to share photos of my family on the blog. The ‘wackos’ scare me.
I am still finding my balance with how much is too much to share.
+I am not the least bit confident in my blogging/photography/yarn/etc. abilities.
I know that contributed to the shop closing.
+I feel the most ‘me’ when I am flippant and nonchalant.
Some days it is real work to be chipper and give a damn.
+I am terrified of being accountable to someone else.
+I don’t remember the last time I knit.
I remember a time when I couldn’t imagine me not knitting.
The magic is lost.
+I hate to clean more than is probably normal.
But I tidy up when I’m anxious.
And I can’t function in clutter.
+I read through every single post on EZ’s list to determine the
tone of this blog-along in order to write mine accordingly.
This was more difficult to write then I had hoped.
So here I am. Just your average, everyday, screwed up first worlder.
How about you?